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Angela Schmitt's avatar

Totally agree. Whether I care to admit it or not, the shame program still runs in my operating system if something isn't done "right" or I feel like I failed. Not sure if it's possible to fully rid ourselves of that..

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Katrina Kowalski's avatar

Speaking of "advice," I have heard the best way to build confidence is to get comfortable with failing. Easier said than done, but perhaps it's just a perspective shift or even as simple as a vernacular switch.

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Nick Kowalski's avatar

You didn't fail, you just didn't succeed.

Or as Ned Flanders once said: "Loser is such a harsh word. Couldn't we just say the boy who doesn't win."

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Katie Rademacher's avatar

I think you and I are more risk-averse by nature and tend to over-think things to some extent and I'm also a planner; which in turn, at least for me, means that I'm less likely to pursue something if I haven't analyzed it from all possible angles and feel confident that I won't fail. Because like you said, failure is looked down upon and I don't want that. But you are right, in most situations, the worst that could happen is likely something we could bounce back from.

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Nick Kowalski's avatar

Yeah, there are definitely people are more willing to tolerate risk and go for it. We're more in the rule-follower or ask-for-permission-and-not-forgiveness camp.

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Nick Kowalski's avatar

I'm not sure the best way to banish that mentality. Maybe fail enough that you don't care about failing anymore.

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